It’s Always Enough
When I am faced with a decision to put my left sneaker on, then
my right sneaker, then open the door to 20 degree weather, then take a few deep
breaths and plunge into the icy wind as it pierces my lung tissue, and run, I
usually choose to do it.
It’s come from years of craziness—crazy schedules, random
symptoms, weather changes, life changes, food cravings…whatever comes my way
I’ve had to adapt. It’s part of growing up—we all adapt, we grow up, and we
change naturally. Some people learn how
to adapt well to change in their 20s, 30s, 40s, some not till their 70s or
80s. I learned when I was two.
Like the decision to run, it’s sort of like adapt or die. Run,
or lung infection—your choice. That’s
been my mentality every time I put the first sneaker on.
But there are those days where (and runners you feel me) when
that sneaker is giving you blisters, you ate too much almond butter and then
downed some coffee, and you’re like “mm maybe not today.” And what’s one day right? But see we all get
in those slumps where the one day becomes two, and then it’s the weekend, its
time to relax and then it’s Monday and you’ve skipped four days of working out.
Not sure about you, but I’m looking at least a day off of school and possibly a
strong antibiotic by Tuesday. We need to be consistent. That’s the beauty of
this disease—it keeps you in awesome shape because you’re forced to
workout!
But from all this regimen and consistency and “never saying
never” is something I think we as CFers
have lost—the ability to say “it’s enough.”
We are
enough.
Our runs, hikes, swims, jump rope, kayaking, surfing,
skateboarding, bike riding, weight lifting, whatever you do that sets your
lungs on fire--- all are enough.
Some of the most successful people in the world have to look
themselves in the mirror once in a blue moon and say “I am enough” or else
their success would be lost to worry and self-doubt. Similar to success in the work world, we as
the CF population have to use the same tactics in the health world.
There are times when I am not this optimistic. It would be distasteful of me to give you
this false impression of a 24/7 bubbly blonde whose all like “oo my god life is
positivity!” There are times where I
would come down on myself so hard for the most laughable things—like I didn’t
run an extra three minutes during a run because my stomach hurt, so I started
crying. Sobbing, actually. Crying because I knew I could do it, but I was
convinced I was too weak mentally to finish the run. I actually took the next
day off because I felt like I wouldn’t finish that run either. Total drama
queen mode;)
The key point I want to hit home is that if anyone should
believe that what they are doing, it’s you.
You do things every day to make sure you stay alive. You eat, you sleep, you socialize, you work
or go to school, you exercise, you take your vitamins…everything to keep you
breathing and beating for the one life you get to have every day. And CFers,
especially younger ones—news for you—your schedules going to be different from
all your friends for the rest of your life.
Sure the treatments get a little tedious, but you’re going to be the
spectacular one who exercises, with all your endorphins and happy juice
floating around your bloodstream, loving how your hair looks that day, and
smiling at everyone all the time...(disclaimer: don’t smile at the same person
for too long, it will creep them out).
You
are born a fighter at heart—a gift you will always have.
The best part about that fighter in you is that you can spread
that spirit to other people. I have had
many people remind me throughout life that I “inspire them” or “keep them
motivated” to conquer whatever hardship they are going through. I never really understood why until the end
of high school when I was hospitalized, when I looked around at patients around
me and I was inspired to keep going,
keep conquering each day—it’s like I was fighting for myself and them. I wanted to get better so I could continue to
fight for all the little CFers in the rooms next to me, the ones that needed a
new pair of lungs, a new type of medicine, or a few more prayers to keep them
going…I needed to get out of there so I could help them like they helped
me. Other CF patients are a huge reason
why I started this blog—not only to spread awareness, but to continue to
motivate others with CF to realize that they
are enough and their fight is the
strongest type there is.
The one
thing I can guarantee you, CFers, is that when you look back on your life one
day, you will not regret a single thing you did. You are the ones who will leave a mark, the
true fighters, and I couldn’t be prouder to have you in my boxing ring.
Do not forget you are always enough—breathing and beating is
what you do and how you choose to do it is up to you. The fight may be endless, but you cannot give
up. And don’t worry..you wontJ That desire
to live is part of your genetic code, and you are stuck with it!
I believe in
you, fellow champions, and I will not stop fighting if I can fight alongside you. So, if you could pass me a Christmas present,
please pledge that you will breathe and beat in some way on Christmas day (or if
you celebrate another holiday, do something on that day!:) Go exercise, do your treatments, eat the right
foods, even take a nap…do something that improves your health and keeps you
fighting. Post it below if you want to--Just promise me that you’ll do
something!
You are
always enough and I will never stop believing in you.
Breathing&Beating,
Meghan
