CF and a social life? Yes, it is
possible. Many persons with CF, young
and old, find it hard to share certain aspects of their CF life with
others. That first friend you made in
pre-school up to someone you consider marrying one day—we all fear that they
might judge us in some way because we are just a little bit different. Having a social life with CF involves taking
risks, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and being honest with yourself
and people you care about. I have found that I embraced my “difference” and
this allowed me to make lasting friendships and grow relationships with confidence.
I also believe in the power of
being honest. In college, I would do my daily routine of getting up at 5am to
workout, banging around the weights in my room, and then proceed to turn on my
Nebulizer machine around 6:15am, all the while making plenty of noise. When questioned about it, I was honest and
said: “I have to do this every day because I need to take care of myself. If I don’t work out and do treatments, I get
sick.” Some roommates accepted this and
some probably pretended to, but either way no one had a mean word to say about
all the morning raucous. I stated the facts and they were accepted.
I believe in the old saying “you
cannot love someone unless you love yourself.” This is the truest rule in the book when it
comes to keeping friendships/relationships.
I had one year in college where I went through an epiphany, realizing
that I have so much more to offer the world than I was currently giving. That
was the year I really started to absolutely love myself, all flaws included. I
wanted to try everything from then on out--I started the first St. Joseph’s
University running club, ran a half marathon, joined a sorority, became a
Resident Assistant in a freshman dorm, I went to Scotland to visit my best
friend on spring break….anything I could do that felt new and made me feel
alive. Doing all of this made me feel
confident in myself and excited in the fact that CF did not stop me from doing
any of it. When you can look back on
moments in your life so far, whether tiny or huge, and say “that was a day I
did not let CF get in my way”, then you know you have accomplished
something. Whenever I become insecure
around a new group of people, for whatever reason, I go through my checklist of
hurdles I’ve conquered over my lifetime.
Instant confidence from there.
Keep your friends and significant
others close to you. Every time you have
a lunch date with an old friend, tell them how incredible they look or what you
love about them. When your significant
other takes you out on a fun date, tell them how much you appreciate them and what
makes them important to you. I learned from a very wise person: Show love,
receive it back—that is the way it works.
The effort has to be both ways for any relationship to work—it’s always 100-100.
B&B,
Meghan
